| "The most educated person at Real Madrid is the woman who cleans the toilets." Joan Gaspart, Barcelona vice-president, 1997. |
| "I talk a lot. On any subject. Which is always football." Tommy Docherty, 1967. |
| "I'm going to be as natural as I can, by that I mean a right miserable bastard." Ray Harford on taking over as West Bromwich Albion manager, 1997. |
| "David was playing fine, but the grass was causing him little niggles" Real Madrid boss Mariano Garcia Remon reveals David Beckham's latest problem - playing on grass. |
| "Interviewer: 'Would it
be fair to describe you as a volatile player?' David Beckham: 'Well, I can play in the centre, on the right and occasionally on the left side.' |
| "He didn't just act as if it was his ball - he acted as if it was his
stadium." Pat Crerand on team mate Denis Law. (Sorry Ruud, you're not there yet.) |
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""BRILLIANT WORK, INCITEFUL AND TOTALLY RIVETING"....... The Times commenting on the latest articles posted on the News/Comments page |
| "Then my eyesight started to go and I took up refereeing." Neil Midgley, F.A. Cup Final referee. 1987. |
| "A northern horde of uncouth garb and strange oaths." The Pall Mall Gazette describing Blackburn Rovers' fans in London for the F.A. Cup Final, 1884. |
| "It's amazing what can be achieved when no one minds who gets the credit." Howard Wilkinson, Sheffield Wednesday manager, on the value of teamwork, 1982. |
| "Figo wasn't skiing while his team was still in the Champions League, and there's the difference." Ex Real Madrid coach Carlos Queiroz, on David Beckham's lack of fitness during Euro 2004. |
| Reporter to Gordon Strachan: "Gordon, can we have a quick word please?" Strachan: "Velocity" [then walks off] |
| "Oh, he's Beckham'd it" English commentator Gary Bloom as Sweden's Zlatan Ibrahimovich blasted the ball over the bar in the penalty shoot-out against Holland. |
| "The ideal board of directors should comprise three men - two dead and one dying." Tommy Docherty, manager of numerous clubs, 1977. |
| The Scotland fans' ability to smuggle drink into matches makes Papillon look like a learner." Scottish Police Federation spokesman, 1981. |
| "When I arrived here the board said there would be no money and they have kept their promise." Dave Bassett, Sheffield United manager, 1994. |
| "Football is a simple game made complicated by people who should know better." Bill Shankly, Liverpool manager, 1968. |
| "I don't think the balance of the left side is right. I think left-sided players should play on the left
side ...." Barry Davies on the England team for Euro 2004. |
| "If Cantona had jumped into our crowd he'd never have come out alive." Alex Rae, Millwall midfielder, after the Frenchman's Selhurst Park fracas, 1995. |
| "When you're a football manager you don't have fitted carpets." John Barnwell, Walsall manager, shortly before his sacking, 1990. |
| "There should be a law against him. He knows what's happening 20 minutes before anyone else." Jock Stein, Celtic manager, talking about Bobby Moore, 1969. |
| "We are about to enter the biggest period of Palace's immediate past history." - Iain Dowie, the Crystal Palace manager looks forward - or back? - to side's play-off final. |
| If we played like that every week, we wouldn't be so inconsistent." Bryan Robson, Manchester United captain, 1990. |
| "You can't say my team aren't winners. They've proved that by finishing fourth, third and second in the past three seasons." Gerard Houllier, Liverpool manager, 2002. |
| "I'm 100% certain I'll be here next season." Gerard Houllier, Liverpool manager, 2004. |
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“I always enjoy the summer. You can’t lose any matches.” Roy Evans, Liverpool manager, 1997. |
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“Shelbourne are obviously having trouble with Bohemians’ five-man back four.” Eamonn Gregg, Irish TV analyst, 1995. |
| “I do it because I was a useless player.” Jim Rushton, Football League referee, 1991. |
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“I soon got out of the habit of studying the top end of the League table.” Walter Smith, Everton manager, on the difference with his previous club, Rangers, 1999. |
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“Newcastle have been very unlucky with injuries this season. The players keep recovering.” Len Shackleton, journalist and former Newcastle and Sunderland player, 1965. |
| We hate Saturdays".....chanted by the Sheffield Wednesday supporters, down 2-1 at home to Sheffield Utd and just after the United fans had chanted "We hate Wednesday!" |
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"Our tactic is to equalise before the others have scored." Danny Blanchflower, Northern Ireland captain, World Cup finals, 1958. |
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“Argentina won’t be at Euro 2000 because they’re from South America.” Kevin Keegan, England manager, 2000. |
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“There are more hooligans in the House of Commons than at a football match.” Brian Clough, Nottingham Forest manager, 1980. |
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“Zidane and Vieira? They’re only names. I think we can win this game.” Berti Vogts in Paris before his debut as Scotland manager, 2002. France won 5-0. |
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“The trouble with you, son, is that your brains are all in your head.” Bill Shankly, to an unnamed Liverpool player, 1967. |
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“A few of us want to discuss super leagues, but all the rest can talk about is the price of meat pies.” David Murray, Rangers chairman, on his Scottish League counterparts, 1992. |
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“What do I think of agents? Dogs, worms, vermin.” Joe Kinnear, Wimbledon manager, 1995. |
| “The Crazy Gang have beaten the Culture Club.” John Motson, BBC commentator, as Wimbledon beat Liverpool in the 1988 F.A. Cup Final. |
| “Q: What will you do when Christ comes to lead us again? A: Move St. John to inside-right.” Church sign and answering graffiti on Merseyside, 1965. |
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“I had to go. Towards the end I felt like a turkey waiting for Christmas.” Frank Clark, after leaving Nottingham Forest manager’s job, 1996. |
| “Communism v Alcoholism.” Scottish banner at Soviet Union v Scotland, World Cup finals, 1982. |
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“We’ve got a long-term plan for this club and, apart from the results, it’s going well.” Ernie Clay, Fulham chairman, 1980. |
| It was a game of two halves, and we were rubbish in both of them." Brian Horton, Oxford United manager, 1990. |
| Slim Jim had everything required of a great Scottish footballer. Outrageously skilled, totally irresponsible, supremely arrogant and thick as mince." Alastair MacSporran, columnist, in the fanzine The Absolute Game,1990. |
| We had enough chances to win the game. In fact we did win it." Alex Smith, Aberdeen manager, 1991 |
| If I was still at Ipswich, I wouldn't be where I am today," Dallian Atkinson, Aston Villa striker, 1992 |
| The fans all had the complexion and body scent of a cheese-and-onion crisp and the eyes of pit-bulls." Novelist Martin Amis after watching QPR, 1991 |
| Too many players were trying to score or create a goal" Gerard Houllier, Liverpool manager, after home loss to Watford, 1999 |
| Just because I play for England, he thinks I understand peripheral vision and positive running" Jimmy Greaves, Chelsea striker. on England manager Walter Winterbottom, 1960. |
| "He wears a No. 10 jersey. I thought it was his position, but it turns out to be his IQ." George Best on Paul Gascoigne, 1993. (a bit of the pot and kettle there) |
| "Wuz nice smokin with yis" Halifax man-about-town Joe Hawkins, pursuant to an afternoon at The Garry. The Maritimes bon vivant was in town to initiate exploratory talks on a possible take-over bid for footiemad. |
| "If he was a chocolate drop, he'd eat himself" Archie Gemmill on Scotland team-mate Graeme Souness 1978 |
| "I earn more than all you wankers put together" Carlton Palmer
to police after he was arrested during a night on the town 1997 |
| "His weakness is that he doesn't think he has any" Arsene Wenger on Alex Ferguson 2002 |
| "Matt was the eternal optimist. In 1968 he still hoped Glenn Miller was just missing" Paddy Crerand on Matt Busby 1997 |
| "I think Ally believes tactics are a new kind of peppermint" Anonymous Scottish defender on manager Ally McLeod, World Cup finals 1978 |
| "If he were in 'Star Trek', he'd be the best player in whatever solar system he was in" Ian Wright on Arsenal team-mate Dennis Bergkamp 1997. |
| The best team always wins. The rest is only gossip" Jimmy Sirrel, Notts County manager 1985 |
| That Johnny Giles of Leeds is a great player. Beats me why Alf Ramsey has never picked him for England" Scotland manager Willie Ormond on the Irish midfielder, 1973 |
| When he plays on snow, he doesn't leave any footprints" Don Revie on Leeds and Scotland midfielder Eddie Gray,1970 |
| The only way Everton will get into Europe this year is if there's another World War"....The Shanks. |
| And they were lucky to get nil" Len Shackleton on his six goal debut for Newcastle, a 13-0 win over Newport County |
| Kenny Dalglish was my boyhood hero. I even named my goldfish after him" Ricky Gillies, St. Mirren midfielder, 1997 |